Why Co-Parents Need Parenting Plans

“If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up somewhere else.” - Yogi Berra

Parenting is sometimes likened to a journey, and the analogy is an apt one; it’s a long road, the path is sometimes uncertain, and it goes more smoothly with guidance and guardrails. In the case of parenting with an ex-spouse or former romantic partner, or under any child custody matter in the Maryland courts, the guidance and guardrails are provided by parenting plans.

What is a Parenting Plan?

The phrase may have different meanings in different states, but in Maryland, a parenting plan is a document that encompasses a child custody arrangement, visitation schedule, and allocation of parental responsibilities. Think of it as a “road map” for how the adults responsible for a child’s care will manage their responsibilities and exercise their rights, usually after a divorce or end of a romantic relationship.

When the court approves a parenting plan, it may issue an order incorporating the plan, and the plan becomes binding upon the parties. Maryland parenting plans (like all situations related to child custody) are always modifiable because parenting plans may be in place for many years even though a family’s circumstances change over time.

However, in the interest of providing stability and predictability for children and families, courts require proof that there has been a material change in circumstances before even considering whether to modify a parenting plan. Even when such a change exists, the court must be convinced that the proposed custody modification would be in the best interest of the children before it will alter the arrangement. However, if parents are appropriately motivated, they can make such changes together rather than relying upon a stranger in a black robe to decide for you.

What Do Maryland Parenting Plans Include?

At a minimum, Maryland parenting plans address the issues of:

• Parental responsibility and decision-making authority (legal custody) around matters such as a child’s medical and mental health care, religious training, education, and extracurricular activities
• Parenting time (physical custody), or where and when the child spends their time with the respective parents. In general, the closer you and the other parent live to one another, the more flexibility you have regarding parenting time
• How parents will divide holidays, school breaks, and special occasions such as birthdays

But remember that a parenting plan can be, and usually should be, more than a court order that covers the basics of co-parenting. It should also serve as a resource for dealing with all kinds of parenting issues that are likely to come up.

What happens when there’s a family wedding on dad’s side during mom’s parenting time? What happens if one parent has to go on a business trip or work over a weekend? How will parents resolve disputes about issues that may not be covered in the plan? There are lots of things you should consider including in your parenting plan. To continue the journey analogy, a detailed parenting plan will help you handle bumps in the road and the need for the occasional detour.

When are Parenting Plans Required?

Anytime there is a court case regarding the custody of a minor child in Maryland, the parties involved must submit a proposed parenting plan to each other and the court. Generally that means parents who are divorcing, or co-parents who have never been married but are seeking a court order regarding child custody. A parenting plan may also be required when:

• Parents within an existing parenting plan desire to modify custody (a new plan must be submitted)
• Someone who is a de facto parent (a person who has acted as a parent, such as a stepparent or legal parent’s long-term partner) wants to continue to play a parent-like role in a child’s life
• An adult who is not the child’s parent becomes the child’s legal guardian, even if that adult is a grandparent or other family member

In short, any time a Maryland court issues an order that affects decision-making authority and parenting time (also referred to as “legal custody” and “physical custody,” respectively), there needs to be a parenting plan.

Who is Responsible for Creating a Parenting Plan?

Ideally, the parents (or other parties) involved will develop a parenting plan that works for them and their family. If you think about it, no one knows your family like you do: your schedules, your children’s temperaments, their needs, and the strengths and challenges of both parents. Accordingly, no one can do a better job of crafting a plan that meets your family’s unique needs than the adults who created that family. For assistance in creating your ideal parenting plan, there is a Maryland Parenting Plan Tool available to help you and your co-parent craft an agreement together.

Of course, it’s not always possible for parents to sit down and reach an agreement on every aspect of parenting on their own. You and your co-parent may be able to negotiate a parenting plan with your attorneys’ help, or through the process of mediation, or other forms of alternative dispute resolution without ever needing to see the inside of a courtroom.

However, what happens if you and the other parent can’t agree on all terms of parenting? Then the court takes a more active role in the decision-making process. You and the other party will be required to complete a form called Joint Statement of the Parties Concerning Decision-Making Authority and Parenting Time. This form serves multiple purposes. It informs the court know that you are likely to need a hearing on parenting issues, and it forces you and the other party to articulate your own proposed parenting plans so the court can see exactly where areas of disagreement exist and where areas of agreement can be had.

Things to Consider When Making a Parenting Plan

Every family is different, which means every parenting plan needs to be unique too. Here are some items that you should consider as you approach creation of your own parenting plan:

• How cordial is the relationship between you and your co-parent? Do you communicate well and effectively regarding your children? If communication has historically been a problem, consider setting ground rules for communication and the option of communicating through an app like Our Family Wizard.
• Similarly, if you and your co-parent have a history of disputes regarding the children, decide up front how you would like to resolve future disputes, such as through the use of a parenting coordinator. A parenting coordinator is a neutral third party whose role is to help parties resolve issues that arise in their co-parenting relationship.
• A parenting plan can give you the support you need to address many issues as co-parents. It’s important to have a plan that is detailed enough to address future concerns, but also allows you the correct amount of flexibility as circumstances change. An experienced family law attorney is an invaluable resource in striking the proper balance for your unique situation.

To learn more about Maryland parenting plans, or to get help negotiating, enforcing, or modifying a parenting plan, contact Strickler, Platnick & Hatfield to schedule a consultation.