10 Things You Should Include in Your Parenting Plan

Many parents assume they'll work out the details of their parenting plan later. Sometimes that happens. More often than not, though, those missing details become the source of future disagreements. A thoughtful plan gives both parents clear expectations. It gives children the consistency they need.

1. A Detailed Parenting Time Schedule

The first and most important thing included in a parenting plan is the schedule. This is the timetable that outlines when each parent will have physical time with the children. A typical schedule will include a regular weekly schedule, weekends, and overnight arrangements. A detailed plan will also include a pickup and drop-off schedule. If necessary, it can dictate who is responsible for transportation during specific pick-up and drop-off times.

2. Holiday and Vacation Schedules

A regular parenting schedule won't cover every special occasion. Holidays, birthdays, school breaks, and summer vacations often require separate arrangements. A parenting plan should address them specifically. It can explain how major holidays will be divided, who has parenting time on Mother's Day and Father's Day, and how vacations will be scheduled. In most cases, these special schedules take priority over the regular weekly routine to avoid confusion and last-minute disagreements.

3. Decision-Making Responsibilities

A parenting plan doesn't just determine where your child will spend time. It should also address legal custody, which refers to who has the authority to make important decisions about your child's upbringing. This includes choices involving education, medical care, mental health treatment, religious upbringing, and extracurricular activities. Depending on your circumstances, parents may share these responsibilities or one parent may have the final authority in certain areas.

4. Communication Between Parents

During a divorce, parents may communicate through their attorneys. However, once the court proceedings are over, they are responsible for communicating directly with each other. A parenting plan can create an agreed-upon form of communication. For some, this could be text messages. For contentious relationships, it could require the use of a court-recognized parenting app. Detailed plans may also include response time expectations and exceptions for emergency situations. There may also be a requirement that parents keep communications child-focused.

5. Communication Between the Child and Each Parent

Parents should encourage their children to maintain a relationship with the other parent. Having it outlined in the parenting plan creates accountability. It can include minimum expectations for phone calls, video chats, and text messaging. It’s also important to create boundaries, ensuring parental communication is balanced. That way, one parent doesn’t interfere with the other’s time spent with the child.

6. Transportation and Exchange Logistics

A common source of conflict is the details involved in child exchanges. The parenting plan can address many of the details by defining where exchanges will take place, who is responsible for transporting the children, and how to handle exchange delays. For some families, a third-party service may be required to minimize parental interactions.

7. How Parents Will Handle Schedule Changes

Life is unpredictable, so while having a schedule in the parenting plan is good, this is only a starting point. Include how schedule changes, emergencies, and unexpected challenges will be handled. This could include a process for requesting time swaps, notice requirements, and flexibility for special events. Include a process for how a parent can make up their lost parenting time due to an unexpected schedule change. In especially contentious relationships, it can be useful to include a process for how agreed-upon changes are documented. That way, changes are easily referenced later should a disagreement arise.

8. School and Activity Information

Children don't stop having school events, soccer games, or music recitals. A parenting plan should explain how both parents will stay informed and involved. Include how report cards, school records, and teacher communications will be shared. Both parents could attend parent-teacher conferences, and how schedules for sports, clubs, and other extracurricular activities will be communicated. Alternatively, one parent may attend and then inform the other parent of what took place.

9. Guidelines for Introducing New Partners and Other Household Changes

It’s common for parents to eventually find a new partner after divorce. When these new relationships become serious, the new partner will be a part of the child’s life. This can create concerns for the other parent. Including new partner guidelines can help protect children while also balancing parents’ ability to have meaningful relationships.

It’s important to keep expectations reasonable. Parents should focus on the child's best interests rather than controlling the other parent's personal life. For example, a common requirement is for the other parent to meet a partner before they are introduced to the children.

10. Future Disagreement Resolution

Having a dispute resolution process in place can help prevent disagreements from escalating. The last thing parents should want is for every minor disagreement to escalate. Court intervention is a lengthy and expensive process that isn’t practical as a dispute resolution solution.

Both parents should agree to communicate in good faith and participate in mediation before disputes progress to court. Consider including a mediation clause that will require both parents to work with a neutral third-party mediator. This can create a solution that resolves disagreements before they escalate into a situation that requires a judge to issue a ruling.

It’s good practice to periodically review the parenting plan. As children grow, their needs change. A dispute resolution process can allow for modifications that are necessary to accommodate the child’s best interests.