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Child custody cases in Maryland, Virginia, the District of Columbia are decided based on the best interest of the child. The factors on which a court evaluates a child’s best interest may vary somewhat from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. However, allegations of abuse or neglect on the part of a parent can have a major impact on any divorce or child custody case. What happens when there are false allegations in custody cases?
False allegations in custody cases can have a devastating impact—not only on the outcome of the case, but on the well-being of the child and their relationship with the falsely accused parent, as well as the accused parent’s relationships and reputation. If you have been falsely accused of harmful conduct in the context of a custody case, you must combat those false allegations for your own sake and your child’s.
It’s easy to assume that false allegations of abuse in custody cases are a malicious act on the other parent. After all, by making you look bad, the other parent looks better by comparison. Sometimes, a false allegation is an attempt on the accusing parent’s part to damage your chances of getting custody, or at least to minimize the time you get to spend with your child. False allegations are not uncommon when one of the parties to the custody case has a personality disorder and a singular focus on hurting the other parent.
Other times, however, false allegations of abuse spring from a misunderstanding or misinterpretation. If a child comes home from spending time with the other parent with bumps and bruises, an anxious parent might inaccurately interpret that as signs of abuse, rather than the result of an active weekend playing outdoors. A toddler’s natural curiosity about (and exploration of) their body could lead a parent with an overactive imagination to see their behavior as a response to sexual abuse.
Naturally, you should deny any false allegations of abuse that the other parent makes, but do so calmly; you do not want your understandable anger at being falsely accused to later be portrayed in court as having anger issues or mental instability.
The most common types of false allegations in custody cases are allegations of physical abuse, allegations of sexual abuse, and allegations of substance abuse that lead to endangerment or neglect of the child.
No parent is perfect, but some parents have a history of problematic behavior that, while not necessarily abusive, lends credence to allegations of abuse. For example, if you have a history of anger management issues, like throwing things or punching walls during an argument, it may be easier for the other parent to persuade the court that you might have lost your temper and been physically or verbally abusive to your child.
If you have occasionally smoked pot to relax, allegations of other drug abuse become much more believable. And, if you have had allegations of sexually inappropriate behavior against you before, those could serve as the foundation for false allegations of sexual abuse against you in a custody case.
Unfortunately, few people are in a better position to know these weaknesses than your former romantic partner. Information you shared with them in confidence in better times could now be weaponized and used against you. Some of this information from your past may be embarrassing. But in order to effectively challenge false allegations against you, you must be completely honest with your divorce attorney so that they are prepared to fight back on your behalf.
It’s natural to be angry when you have been falsely accused of something, especially when the alleged misconduct involves harming your child. It’s even more bewildering when you have never been the subject of such accusations before.
You may be tempted to seek revenge by making false accusations about the other parent in turn, but resist. If you have an experienced divorce attorney, he or she will know the best way to deal with the allegations against you. Your focus should be on gathering evidence to help rebut your ex’s statements.
It’s hard to prove a negative—the absence of abuse. But recording every interaction with your child’s other parent can help to bolster your position. Keep every email, text message, scribbled note, and call record. If you have a verbal exchange, make an audio recording if you (legally and practically) can and jot down notes afterward if you can’t. If you’re lucky, you may record your ex making reference to the fact that they know their allegations are false.
Being falsely accused of harming your child is very stressful. Working with a mental health professional will not only help you cope with this stress, but your provider may be able to provide the court with an evaluation of your stability, mental health, and parenting skills if needed.
If there are allegations of abuse, it is likely the court in your case will order a child custody evaluation. While the prospect of an evaluation may be intimidating, the evaluation may work in your favor. The evaluator will try to get a broad picture of the family by speaking to doctors, teachers, neighbors, and others who are familiar with your child and family. If you are a calm, supportive parent with whom your child feels safe, that will come across in the evaluation. Your attorney can help you prepare for a child custody evaluation.
Your family law attorney is your best defense against false allegations in a child custody case. If you do not already have an attorney, getting one should be a priority as soon as you realize false accusations have been made against you. To learn more about dealing with false allegations in custody cases, contact Strickler, Platnick & Hatfield to schedule a consultation.
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